Here’s our Top 5 Craziest Horror Families
#1 – The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
These Blood thirsty maniacs come in at # 1 for their sheer brutality, they’re super strong, they set traps, they’re calculated, and HUNGRY too! The one dude is actually caught by the son chowing down on his mom (on a hot boulder & wearing a long coat), then with a mouth full of mom guts chases homeboy to eat him too! What doesn’t happen in this flick ?! They kidnap babies, shoot the mom, burn the dad, eat the family dog, and much more. The best special effects too by the Master, Stan Winston. Cool names too. There’s Goggles, Pluto, Jupiter, Uranus…Just kidding. There’s no Uranus. Get it? “UR-ANUS”? LOL Nutty movie to say the least.
Directed by the amazing, multi tasking, multi talented Rob Zombie, his first movie is a feast for the eyes. Killer soundtrack and score too. What sets this family apart is they’re simply overjoyed with the idea that after they lull you into a false sense of quirky family hospitality by giving you dinner and a floor show, they’re gonna unmercifully beat the crap out of you, verbally and psychologically abuse you, torture you, kill you, then turn you into art, furniture or a face mask. Completely and totally insane bunch.
#3 – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Family
Based on a true story, (which it’s really not. That was just a marketing ploy to get publicity) which knowing that as I watched this flick sent chills up my spine and left me pie eyed and white knuckling the theater arm rest, this family is beyond scary. This family runs the gambit of insanity all across the board. They’re grave robbers, thrill killers, torturers and cannibals, all to the 10th power. Leatherface is the marquis character in this one and almost seems childlike in a demented, macabre way if that makes any sense. Even the decrepit, old fossil of a Grandpa is known as “the best killer in the family”. Brutally derranged family.
#4 – The Wrong Turn Family
What would you do if you’re lost in the deep woods without weapons, and you come across a skilled, methodical, ruthless family of cannibalistic hunters? Run? They can def outrun you. Climb up a tree? Nope. They can scale up a tree like a rabid squirrel. Hide? They will eventually find you. These guys ferociousness is only matched by their relentless hunger to both hunt and kill their prey with no regard if you’re young, old, male, female, everyday citizen or law enforcement. In their world, they are the law!
# 5 – The Munsters
Yes, The Munsters. There are all different types of crazy; blood thirsty crazy, cannibal crazy etc, and if you really think long and hard, The Munsters are nuts. Regardless that they’re monsters, they are simply kooky crazy. Sure, they see themselves as though they are the normal ones in society, but look at the situations they find themselves every week. They keep a pet dragon under the stairs who at times if someone wants a quick S’mores, they just tilt the bannister and Spot’ll breath a lil fire to melt up a marshmallow for you. Herman, the patriarch of the family is a big, cuddly, buffoon that can wreak complete havoc by just flashing his dopey smile. When they’re expecting company mom of the year, Lily will take out the vacuum cleaner, put it in reverse and begin to douse their home with even more dirt and dust! Grandpa, the wacky vampire/mad scientist is constantly trying different experiments and things on poor Herman. Lil Eddie walks around dressed like lil Lord Fauntleroy, hangs out and leaps in and out of cupboards, talking to his toy werewolf doll named Woof Woof that actually tears up and cries when upset. Marilyn, the “normal one” simply can’t figure out why when she brings prospective boyfriends home and once they get their 1st glimpse of her family, they end up jumping out of windows, plowing through walls, and scaling a 12 ft front gate running for their lives, and continues to ask herself “What’s wrong with me?” The Munsters are scary alright…SCARY CRAZY, NUTTY, HYSTERICAL !
We’d love to know what your Top 5 Crazy Families are, so let’s hear it, Uber-Fans !!